Friday 11 November 2011

FOUL PLAY SUSPECTED IN DISAPPEARANCE AT PARKESVILLE.

A missing persons report is being treated as a suspected mass homicide case at Parkesville.

Ms Ariadne and her children disappeared mysteriously during the night. Mr Fidel has been named as a frog of interest in this case.

Although the evidence is circumstantial, authorities feel it is substantial: Only Mr. Fidel, their close neighbour, was seen in the vicinity that night. To add to the suspicions, Mr Fidel is considerably fatter.

Fidel has made no comment so far, and has refused a lie detector test. He looks decidedly smug.

Authorities decided not to organize an identlty parade on the grounds that even they couldn't tell which was who in a line up.

Ms Ariadne is about 6 mm, has eight legs and seven eyes. Her children resemble her but are very small. Anyone who may have seen them can contact the rest of the odd bods resident at Parkesville.


Fidel Frog


I have often written bemoaning our odd life at Parkesville Pondokkie. My eccentric man, and our orphans (six ex-feral cats, Bandersnatch the dog, Bilbo-rabbit, Gandalf Guinea pig, three gerbils and three birds) keep us on our toes. We love them all so the complications they cause are tolerated.  However life has just gone beyond sanity.

A tiny tree frog made its home in a pot plant in the bathroom. He behaves himself hiding in the plant and then crawling all over the room at night eating mosquitoes. So why a problem?

It's my sanity challenged man again. I am nagged constantly: mustn't leave the door open, the cats may find Fidel Frog (yes!). Pull the curtain just so, so he doesn't get too hot, but has light. Open the window slightly and leave the light on all night to attract mosquitoes, and don't kill them when you go to the loo: he may be hungry.

Going to the john is now a life-threatening mission. Numerous whining bloodsuckers descend in clouds and deplete my circulatory system. I wonder if the Fidel likes human blood? Am trying to see if he's developing fangs. Am having Little Shop of Horrors flashbacks.

Things have deteriorated further. Ron now puts Fidel's plant in the empty bath and sprinkles water on it three times a day. I have been limited to short tepid showers in case FF finds the steam uncomfortable. The plug must always be in the empty bath in case FF disappears down the hole.

Every now and then FF disappears for a day or two. Panic stations. My large hairy man crawls around in the bathroom disturbing my plant family, searching for a frog!

I must admit FF is appealing. Tiny and perfect like a little bright-eyed brooch. And yes, darn it, I have grown fond of him.

PS. The spider's name is Arriadne – but that's another story.